I have a confession to make. If the word “never” is defined as 100% of the time, then I “never” relax. (The exception may be when I’m sleeping, but I’m not quite sure.) So not counting when I’m sleeping, I never relax. I am always (again defined as 100% of the time) thinking at least one step ahead.
I tried to “relax” once. For 6 months I attempted to journal my daily attempt to “smell the roses”. I really tried, and Jeri has the journal to prove it. Granted, I have had a super blessed life, but this was the most miserable 6 months of my life. I don’t give two craps about roses. I don’t want to live in the moment. And after 6 months, I quit. The rest of the journal that year for Jeri reverted to me writing about what I got done on my to-do list and of course, what I was going to do tomorrow.
I like to dream of relaxing like I did in yesterday’s post. I like to live vicariously through my kids and my wife who have this gift of being able to be ok with today. But I know I will never have it.
Today was “relaxing” in that I was finally done packing. But my mind was on the next flag post, putting on extra sun screen, making sure I was drinking 20oz an hour, and scheming on where to hide when I got back to camp.
I ended up riding 64 miles, climbed 3,200’, and was on my bike for 4 hours and 47 minutes. The gravel section was way harder than previous years. At one point, my computer read 13% grade and my back tire was slipping a quarter turn with every pedal stroke. And even then I was thinking about the next corner and where I was going to go for dinner.
Tomorrow is supposed to be 71 miles and 2,500’. I’ll be out early again. And will try to relax. Ha! That’s a lie! From the moment I get on the bike, I will be thinking of the next town, the next flag, the next place to take a shower.
The Road Rider
PS. I found a semi-air conditioned gym to sit in after I set up my tent, packed for tomorrow, took a shower, got something to eat, and set up my bike computer to charge. I tried to lay down like the guy next to me, but after 90 seconds (ok maybe it was 60) it felt like a waste of time so I got up and started working.